There Were No Survivors


Ghost Writer - June 16, 2005 7:11 am (#20 of 20)
Numa Numa Yei

Ghost Writers In The Sky

So, you ask, what was all that Brouhaha last night on the Random International Forum at WorldCrossing, that got Halo's panties in a bunch?

Well, it seems there was a thread called Fun With Headlines that invited Random Forum Members to write funny made-up headlines about each other.

Well, not exactly about each other. Sometimes the targets of the funnies were Random Individuals who were not part of Random International. For example...

Fun With Headlines #25 - Bela - Apr 1, 2005 02:24 pm

Bela Admits to Multiple Personality Disorder; Stops Posting as Kitty, Klatu, Bill Russell, Barry Kort, Saipan, Gotham, Raul, InnocentBystander, Fabulous Fred, Ristretto, Wah Tafule, Op Ed.



Anyway, that's what drew this GhostWriter's attention, so it seemed only fair to play the same sick game with 'those people'.

GhostWritten Funny Headline #1:

Fun With Headlines #54 - GhostWriter - June 15, 2005 (#54 of 63)

Hobbes and Kort Meet at Shapiro's Deli For Friendly Luncheon Meeting; There Are No Survivors



GhostWritten Funny Headline #2:

Fun With Headlines #55 - GhostWriter - June 15, 2005 (#55 of 63)

Claude Dorsel and Reynaldo Go On a Fabulous Shopping Spree In Sainte-Genevieve-des-Bois; They Say It's a Nice Place To Visit, But They Wouldn't Want To Live There


Alas, Halo intervenes and stops the presses...

Fun With Headlines #56 - halo - June 15, 2005 9:27 pm (#56 of 63)

Take your crap elsewhere Barry.

------------------------------------------------------

Fun With Headlines #57 - halo - June 15, 2005 9:51 pm (#57 of 63)

I won't tell you again.


Now that wasn't a very funny headline, so I wrote this one...

GhostWritten Funny Headline #3:

Fun With Headlines #58 - GhostWriter - June 15, 2005 (#58 of 63)

Halo Issues Stern Warning to Rogue Headline Writer, Saying: "I am not going to repeat myself. I am not going to repeat myself."


Whereupon...

Fun With Headlines #59 - halo - June 15, 2005 10:08 pm (#59 of 63)

Barry Kort has been removed and his posts deleted for breaking World Crossing's Terms of Service by revealing poster's private information.



Followed by this...

Capricious Semi-Funny Headline #4:

Fun With Headlines #60 - Caprice the Flying Scape-Goat - June 15, 2005 (#60 of 63)

Grand Jury Investigates Bloody Kerfuffle at Shapiro's Deli; Marion County DA Indicts a Dill Pickle and a Ham Sandwich; Bela, Recycla, and Madame LaFarge Call for Death By Legal Ejection; Halo Fumigates The Scene of the Crime With Zyklon Gas



Capricious Funny Headline #5:

Fun With Headlines #61 - Caprice the Flying Scape-Goat - June 15, 2005 (#61 of 63)

Halo Inadvertently Violates World Crossing Terms of Service By Publishing Real Name of Banned Poster; Gets Off Scott Free


Well, you get the idea. Some of 'those people' just don't know how to take a long-running sick joke.

It's enough to make you wanna retch.

Vrei Sa Pleci Dar Nu Ma, Nu Ma Iei
Nu Ma, Nu Ma Iei, Nu Ma, Nu Ma, Nu Ma Iei.

[You want to split cuz you don't want,
don't want to have me,
Don't want, don't want to have me,
Don't want, don't want, don't want to have me.]

Halo?? Salut??
Sunt Eu, un Haiduc.

[Greetings, Halo.
It's Me, an Outlaw.]


Credit: Leg-O-Zone QuickTime parody of Dragostea Din Tei by Franky Pageos.


CopySchlepp 2005 Barsoom Tork Associates.
North Amurcan Bupkis, Reclusive Internet Dementors.


"At North Amurcan Bupkis, you'll never hear the end of this crap."